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All those times about the mall when people wouldn't stare at him. He felt ashamed for having rejected his possible friends just because he thought they were too ugly to hang around with. Just what the h--- did that word mean anyway?. where the h--- was ghost Umberto Eco when you needed him?. he had a Brooklyn accent and even vaguely looked like Richard Feynman but couldn't multitask like him. Lost and stranded near a crashed plane in a desert. While sitting and drinking water he saw a rabbit man in a dashiki over the hills. he could think of some pretty vulgar things happening to nice people but he knew deep down that was his method of scaring others away from what little he had to offer.
Like his cousin, said man defines himself that which not feminine and had been applying it to the rest of humanity cisgender or not for quite a while. His sleeves were pulled up,he washing his hands,up which were sticking after having eaten a grapefruit opposite a basin where there were an evident cloudiness of vomit. Adjacent to it was a stall scrawled with vulgarities offset by how de Kooning like the drawings were. “How the halga can anyone talk so much while in a toilet stall?”,thought Olaf eyebrows furrowed under his tousled hair while the murmuring went on. Impatiently he pulled down the polka dot sleeves of his wedding shirt (in spite of not going to marry soon) and barely caught a bus to work at the other building in the eastern part of the city.  


If there was anyplace where the disparity between the attitudes of men and women were shown most, it was in how public washrooms were like, thought Olaf. Demographics of the destitute, infirm or addicted aside.


He was on the bus and thought to himself how he saw that insecure thug on the bus as well,at the back.  


“YEAH!, Remember me dill wad!. You used to call me gay!. This from a guy who liked to be a “buffer” for keeping me away from the friends in the circle you hung out with!”


“Smart thing to say to a guy you never so much as had a friggin conversation with,dipcheese!Or a class with!”


He nearly lost the new job placement he had because of that flaring. He felt that he had to discipline himself and keep to work protocol but it was friggin unbelievable to him not only how many of the people he knew from middle school worked for companies the accounting firm most frequently interacted with but how outside of these classrooms and in public, there was still an arrogance to them. The lack of lapsing in the smug expression of the apparent airbag who kept lying to him about the car companies financial records was unbelievable.

There was an aura of “I’m too good to talk to you” even though an analyst, financial analyst like Olaf had, had his achievements quantified where it counts. Something he tried to spread,like “spreading the love” in helping and advising his younger cousins through their schoolwork. They didn’t go to places which were too bad. I mean they were in their own ways like dilapidation and negligent teachers at times, but what didn’t fester was the unwittingly created (though Olaf swore it was done on purpose to boost morale in all the wrong ways) atmosphere of self-justification given to the middle school he went too.

Olaf took out a humor book instead of a usual airplane sort of novel. Later on that evening he would meet his fiance at the back pool of her aunt’s condominium to talk about arrangements of where to live. Both were trying to make sure whoever was showing them places wasn’t a total sleaze. So many habits he had to keep up.

He had trouble letting go of the past and something came up in a flash while he closed his eyes so close to a long weekend.  

“What do you think?”

“About?..”

She pointed at her knee

The yoga pants she had on were a gift, a promotional one likely her size which he had received from a meeting with representatives from Lululemon.


He found it an odd thing to do. For a company meeting. In front of them at that park bench was a billboard with a couple on a beach. An American Eagle ad promoting a line of yoga pants. He remembered how his fiancé even used to say how she found no good reason for why she’d ever look like she’d be in a scenario like in fashion ads. Olaf did too but now he thought differently. Before he felt (in part because of not wanting to succumb to hormonally charges), how he couldn't even feel that he should approach women in yoga pants without first being an achiever.

Thinking back to the jerk on the bus (Dalton was it?)after having gotten off he thought about how it highlighted something for him. He had a problem with forgiveness and acceptance. Not sure if he believed in the former, he knew why at least.

When he was wronged,that was the authentic behavior of the insulter wasn’t it?. "Why the blazes should I accept and/or let that pass by if your going to be consistent in that authentic behavior of being an ignorant dillweed?", he thought to himself.

"Strike back with precision and unambiguity as public service for your emotions, he thought it confines of his mind.

*He put a pin on an image of his fiancé sighing at his state of mind*.
slaving to freedom

crave, coach, auto-pilot

Phantom practicing
         He remembered “It’s because God is bowling in the sky” when he heard lighting early that dawn. The words of his daughter. If that were true it would hold to reason (or at least be more likely) that pilots would be more spiritually inclined. But their not. He wasn't much like that at least, that bright November 2074 morning. Creaking of the linoleum flooring of his house behind him, George Sharpe was the top test pilot for the soon to be revealed .U.N. air force program and checking in on the premise as the morning began, albeit under a grey cloud-covered sky. There was no real reason to keep the more impudent part of his personality undercover when he was just so good at what he did.

At least not let it surface to much among his co-workers yet. For now he would keep it in the swagger and swing of his arms, black coffee in hand. In the time between when the program started and two weeks before his hiring the .U.N.A.F. (still in its preliminary stage) had only tested out non-combative aircraft. Heavy but fast crafts called WHALERS which were closer to flying fortresses than conventional cargo planes. They were large but apparently priorities had changed just like the world’s most premier diplomacy institute had since the century had gotten a quarter ways through. They were shifting away from concentrating on their flying fortresses and thus it required a different kind of project engineer and team. And that’s why he was hired.

Fearless was what he was called as his job as a test pilot. Place and time meant nothing to him when he was doing his job, letting dread suspend itself like he felt under the extremities the plane he had been flying for almost a year now could let him.

“Morning, George”, said Fanon Axle clipboard in hand under the roof of a massive warehouse that was unravelling up. “Ready to try the RO J8-GR ?”. “Whenever you are ready” said George.'

George had gotten enough a treasured reputation to the UNAF higher management that they would let him remain with his finger gloves, one covering a yin portion of a taijitu on left hand.

Without further ado, in about 20 minutes, George was sent propelled out by an electromagnetic track giving him a velocity creating the loudest sonic boom yet heard on the base.

The “Howler” received its common name deservedly, thought the technologists gazing at it in amazement as the storage facility opened up to an airstrip. It was a suggested name for the finalized war-machine. George didn’t care though. He was a man of action, not thinking. “ Hurry to the low speeds and avoid high acceleration turns again!, Fanon yelled out of habit with a smile knowing George was likely going to ignore him again.”

A man of becoming: not (as he saw the technologists that gave this program its backbone) a man of pondering, static and inactive. Sure he “taught” other air cadets, the conceptual basis for skills like maneuvering, like the math behind it sometimes. However it was always reluctantly. Always reluctantly because he felt that it was cutting into time that could otherwise go to feeling the animus of the agents of combative flight. The soul of freedom, the soul of war embodied in sonic roars he was entranced by it. His best pal Fanon thought differently.

*******

           He had reached mid-altitude but couldn’t appreciate the view as much. Not because of the thunder, mind you but because of his daughter Ruth. He thought about his daughter, singly raised by him for most of her life and how she was having trouble with homework. He remembered the things listed in the so called “doodles” that were her cursive in the flimsy agendas the school gave out. After, this he’d look at the pages she had to do and make the best of achieving with her at it, even if it required another school supply (another nigh-ever used textbook) that she might not get on time.

“Darn those hoity toity, private school prices” he muttered to himself while going at a steady but fast vertical path leaving making no sloping at which to incline and steady up his plane’s rise on until he disappeared into a canopy of clouds. That steady input of power from thrust, it worked though. He rose up diagonally into a sunny opening in the clouds still pouring with a dazzling fierceness. Enveloping over the earth, clouds looked so beautiful inviting but when you approached them they were fleeting and in a jet like the Howler you would soon notice how cold air molecules had a different form up close different from fog.

Just as he was trying to recollect which way to go from there, a disc like ring appeared. It shone out meticulous engraved  ideograms and from the clouds, whence came out another flying object. Uncannily like his plane. Few things around anymore which had the lean form like the old Lockheed Blackbirds of decades past, the Howler was based on but more streamlined in its structure. A light peach color that would otherwise blend in with the clouds during a sun setting time with its horizon. Slowly appearing next to the wings of the Howler were rims that would otherwise be able to pass off camouflaged into the clouds come off as a lustered strangely tilting back and forth rim. Like the mother of pearl lining inside sea shells. It just had to go out and fly on an intensely down pouring day among a canyon range in such a remote area, far away from his home.

*******

    “So it begins” said Commander Tilson Stuart to Fanon and the rest in the board room while the rain started with a lively drizzle. Fanon hated it when things started with “so”. So, presumptuous like many military staff people he thought of, to start things off the blank with a sound of consequent. All that air of espousal for some lifestyle based on conflict that always yields to profit and backing up acts done in the name of cost-efficiency. Why else was there an accountant-economist from an otherwise common civilian firm always auditing the area with an upper lip and eyes not batting to the technology around them that wouldn’t find common usage for another 10 years?. “ Hold on, what begins?” asked Fanon apprehensively this time. Prior to this, there was only terse talk on the progress of construction of the J8-GR.

Evaluating the present machine with looks at the dossiers on structural analysis, there was not much on an “agenda” or objective behind it, which could be extracted from the footnotes or legal jargon which went with it. Only the final product of a group that would become partly open to private corporate interaction. Stuff Fanon hated but paid the tuition bills for a degree he was ridiculed for pursuing in this convoluted world of lies and ambivalent indifference. He felt he had to pay attention this time. For the sake of his friend George?. Maybe.

Tilson said “Dr. Axle, Dr. Micius Your new faces to Ms. Hilton, care to greet her?”

“Pleased to meet you” said the strawberry-blonde woman extending a tattooed hand under a lab coat to Wilma Micius.

“Yeah, hi..” she said attention grabbed by how the auditor had finally come here

“Greetings” perfunctorily said by Fanon.”Why would a descendant from the infamous turn of the century trust-fund baby be here?” was what he almost would have blurted out while in a session of thinking out loud. Not here though. Too much might be at stake.

“To her left is Prof. Russell .Mythologist” ruddy faced Stuart said. After shaking that man’s hand, Fanon knew something was up. A mythologist?. Why?. The man looked like an older ,stately Marlon Wayans to the Damon Wayans lookalike comments which usually went over Fanon’s head.

*******

          George had kept to a pattern of flight not typical of him. He would usually be doing things more professionally but ever since the electronic equipment even in the black box had gone haywire, maybe since he got out of the started storm, he couldn’t report back to base to check if the presence of this thing would change things.

He wondered if Fanon was watching over the equipment keeping track of his jet.

What came next happened. It was fast and doing an occasional barrel roll. Following him as he did sharply turning zig-zags before going for spurts at 90 degrees, was the whirring of that what would almost be a disc like the outer rims of Frisbee if not for a jutting section which lead with the arrow like jutting in the middle.

He made a steady hard drop to the vertical and two more of those quasi-discs appearing behind the originally leading one, straight out from the cream colored clouds among the lavender sky. George felt he couldn’t afford to stall.

The discs, first expanded and started extending extensions like mechanical folds before looking more organic. Translucent almost plastic like “skin” ,fin like rudders on the lower body which could almost pass for feet and also around a head making them almost look like ears. Compactly locked onto the aerodynamic body were what looked like arms, uncannily like jet engines. What delimited the white body sheen of those ‘creatures’ as it shifted to peach like orange like the clouds, were red, purple and blue sections like the wings which steadily raised to 45 degrees and became particularly fin around the edges. Except for some lively heads, barking among themselves with jaws readily snapping, the bodies of those creatures could still pass for aircrafts.

The purple one roared deeply as an unworldly foghorn from its thick lower jaw as the blue and red ones dived with suddenly elongated eyes in a pincer movement. Steep power dives like those would make most wings go unstable but the wings of the red and blue pursuers sliced the Howler’s  rudders placed above the jet engines in sweeping blurs like knives through butter. Pebbly turquoise like teardrops on the underbellies is what George say when he briskly yelled “Monsters!”, barely being crushed in his cockpit. He still kept calm and made no sudden shifts just yet.

*******

“Hilton and I have agreed to bring this up with you gentlefolk” Stuart said to Wilma, Stuart having all eyes on her. Fanon only listened with his head leaning on his right hand cupped to ear, not missing any details.

“We have decided to mention to you all here that I have actually been corresponding with UN intel for a number of years now”. Wilma looked at Stuart who nodded his head while his smallest finger covered over the engagement ring given to him. The auditor spoke.”Micius please proceed discussing..”

“Thank you, Ms. Hilton”. All eyes were on him now. Fanon had both hands clenched in front of him, shoulders hunched and Wilma only leaned her head on her right fist like it was a kind of meeting that she was used to already.

*******

     The blue creature had the outboard elevons of the Howler in it’s between jaws which were moving like saws, almost in a straddling position around with the red creature,  taking it down on the diagonal. Both bizarre quasi-wyverns, bickered in screeching squawks among themselves like if they were talking about who was going to go next. George turned the thrusters on, fire blazing because of alternately activated engines like the rage in his eyes fueling him to get away from these beings he did not understand. He went forward among the beautiful limpness of the cloudiness while the bogies followed not too far behind.

Taking a risk, he hovered upwards, letting the creatures get ahead of themselves before he cut in from behind them and opened fire with the mounted gunning machines on his aircraft’s wings. Even among the volleys the creatures simply swung in graceful semi-circles ,hardly missing the ammunition enough but enough to do so aerobatic grace.

For what was an intense quarter of an hour, George simply rose, nose section sharply up while being followed before turning horizontally to what was like a vast but final engulfing plateau of a cloud. The best he could do at that point was to rise vertically for several hundred feet more and keeping going on consistently forward. Yet he couldn’t help but think out the kinetic majesty, if analyzed, of how those as he called them averted his gunfire with an oblivious smoothness. He still had to try to shake them off. Now all three were moving their bodies’ fast sea snakes flying.

*******

    Fanon felt so uncomfortable. There was a convoluted talk about creatures having been spotted by the military for a while now and notebooks written by Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell having been found in an abandoned Swiss mineral spa.

The smooth pendulum movements of the dragons was slowly encroaching George, who took another risk, hoping to find more clouds and he did. He strongly twisted and spin the wings of the Howler in dizzying angles like he bursting from the base of the empty space in an ethereal spiral staircase. The red creature was now leading when George actually had it in him to steady down the speed before making a dive left with afterburners on.

Wilma had struggled in becoming a keen and well-liked structural analyst and almost gave into temptations to quit which would've not let reach the point she had in her career. Being under the military’s wing was like sticking by in a distorted family she felt. One which represented the opposite of the social situations so many sought but (in the eyes of the uppity and oblivious attitudes so common on the base she work) had not “fought” enough for in their life to deserve it, saying that they just prepared themselves for any “eventuality” . To men like Stuart she saw how the strife one person went through was a contest to be compared with someone else. Was Tilda in on this as well?. And this Dr. Russell, man. Surely he wasn’t a power craver as well was he?.

*******

For the longest short moment. George disconnected to listen to his internal talk.

“You always do this!. You always find to take more of those stupid work assignments instead of spending time with your daughter!”.


Emilia Stellaski was George’s previously on and off girlfriend he soon meet after Ruth’s mother died in childbirth. She was tall with a sinewy lankiness to her which could be just as imposing as George’s burliness projecting from his posture and shoulder breadth. About her tank top were muscular shoulders and arms which  were covered in elaborate tattoos all across and the intricacy showed more, when George made her so angry she felt impulsed to be gestural. Including point at him with the yang tattoo on her right hand.

         "Why the alga you do it?"

         "I just did what the work they want done. Duty calls. what I have to do."

Emilia had so much anger behind her eyes when he said that. The first duty of a commitment to her, was to listen and why wouldn’t he listen to her if he was committed to her, more deeply?

          "You don't have to do anything."

           "Yes. I do Emilia. I’m a warrior."

Emilia had run a family owned antique shop part time throughout her teens. She had told George before how her father had only gotten up to grade 6 before a war broke out. He was a smart man but had spent most of his youth in a mine in Belgium. George never had his thickly accented taciturn remarks of kindness lost on him when he visited him and his somewhat  father-in-law tried his best to express himself. On the sides though, when they got together Emelia would sneer in disgust that her benign father tried to get along with gentle amicability like he would with anyone else, to someone who was so anti-peace.


             "Please. DON’T-YOU DARE say that!"

              "Why not?. You keep Ruth distanced from stories about knights saving kingdoms. Don’t you think she needs something like  that in her life?. While she’s young and before she struggles more?."

              "Don’t give me that!. Those guys were nothing but thug landlords in real life who got glorified because people gave in to  that entitled image!."

               "They said they would let me train with Howlers."

She had neatly cropped chestnut brown hair and a usually impishly soft smiled face with eyebrows George hated to see furrowed even if her silver eyeliner still looked good around her murky brownish green eyes behind the square frames of her glasses. When they were dating she was on the air surfing circuit. She was an athlete of sorts and that was one reason George liked her and found her attractive, something they were both mutually feeling on. For the past two years, she was now Ruth’s quasi- stepmother and both marked the beginning of their bond by getting industrial earrings.

             "If you want to go somewhere we can both try air-surfing again..."

             "I won't think of much else  except Stuart’s assignments until a prettier nest egg grows."

             "Give some time to other offers. The offer to be a hospital helicopter pilot still stands. You don't have to do this. You said how when you were younger, you thought it’d be more fun to fly a helicopter. That can make you happier."

             "Don’t think I’m the same as when I was younger." Instead of the reality of Emilia’s presence, the laughter of Ruth’s late mother, Gertrude came to his mind. She had a nice laugh but not the voice of Taylor Swift who George sometimes sort of jokingly said she reminded him of. Both of them used to enjoy listening to her on an oldie’s station while stargazing and eating cheap cheesecake

              "A lot of people live with hurt, but I can avoid it while make a living where it happens. A fine living."

             "George, a lot of people  don't have other decisions they can take. You can .Why don't you change your thinking?  Everybody else does!. This is all so avoidable!."

             "It’s because I'm a fighter pilot. It’s what I made of myself what your committed too. That’s something which can stay the same..."

              "No. No it doesn’t have to. We make things that way. We can always pick up different habits. Rhythms are meant to be broken. Fragments."

   Both held hard glazed gazes at each other. They hated how just when they got to know how the other had shortcomings they loved each other even more. They projected and could match their minds more closely in spite of how bitter fighting could bring out the worst in them. And these arguments had been happening more lately. For whatever amount of bluster in his assertions, Emilia had an ability to effortlessly turn around the energy he put into arguing with her around him. Maybe this wasn’t going to be one of those moments.

"I’ve been talking to Fanon. He says there’s something shiftier about Stuart. More than usual.He’s our friend and one who’s into being exact about what he see’s"

Fanon had once found out how Stuart had a thing, almost an obsession for studying historical battle tactics. He felt that  for being an expert player at war gaming in his youth and having been into pulling off speedy resolutions he might have had a grasp of what Stuart had behind his eyes. “Bringing up the rear in order of things, you receive the unchanging” was something of a motto Fanon had said to himself while playing his games. He wondered if it also range for Stuart. Little old “Ax Dr.” had heard rumors of how Stuart and apparently even Tilda did war gaming themselves at a remote location. He rather have told this to an old school peer like Stellaski rather than George first

"Emilia, I make my own bed, but I won’t count on it being a flying coffin. To off me, others have to be near me and be willing to have the same happen to them."

Emilia eyes rolled in a kind of disappointed repulsion.“Or you could just injure them like in hand to hand”

George’s face scrunched up before sighing. Both a moment, both locked eyes.

That time they spoke Emilia was marking test papers from a pre-calculus math course she taught at a high school. She said how even a boy from a failed state was taught math not unlike what Ruth did because of his ESL status but would soon be doing calculus like that which pilots like George did and then some. It wasn’t something done at all schools though. It always got to him how she tolerated (or accepted?) how he could make a living flying experimental aircraft but preposterously couldn’t drive. It wasn’t inherent, it wasn’t  like a good sense of direction had been passed on to Ruth.

Finally in the dining room under and between a framed photo of a bar-headed goose..

"What makes me happy is what makes Ruth happy, more and more often. You know that.What would make Ruth happy is not being around the only parent she knew, when she knows he could disappear any day. Like nobody was ever there for her, as far as family goes."

Gertrude's final pain was a catalyst of sorts and whether her death meant more than her life was something Ruth and George felt differently about, depending on whether you asked them or found out what was uttered inside. The essence of what made her beautiful evoked differently things in them as well. No objective way to explain that. No way to grasp that, like an object.

After Stuart, Russell and Hilton took turns talking

Could it be that George was doing this to exact a heavy weight for the risk Gertrude turned out to take in giving life to Ruth?. It still made no sense to him how in this century something like that could still happen. He could be Ruth’s hero but he felt he failed to be that for Gertrude.

*******

    Wilma had usually had reservations about Stuart. His whole attitude was a spectacle of force ironically for someone running a supposedly moribund institute, warfare after the 2068 Peace Accords delineated how military bodies were going to be subject to reform once the reconstruction efforts were in their final phase. Even though she had grown up admiring Fanon’s mother for her legendary contributions to making sewage water purifying tech ever so usable to conflict torn areas which had been through the turmoil of the past quarter century, she mainly was at the .U.N.A.F. to build resume fodder before moving on to somewhere where she wouldn’t be leered at by a chest-puffing commander.

A moment ago he was drifting buoyantly. Left and right nudged the machine. Left and right nudged his head machine. George was still holding on, in a way. He wasn’t making sure he would have to change from anything other than full throttle so he took the time to pull up his sleeve and look at the tattoo mainly under his right forearm.

Trying to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it. And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling
Undisciplined squads of emotions


It was lines from T.S. Elliot’s “East Coker” wrapping underneath his arm in an almost Mehndi like arrangement like what his wife had going on. He only remember because once while having a family reading session, Ruth was sitting between them and Emilia asked her to look for some lines which she liked and would look good as a tattoo on her daddy. She picked those select verses from a poet known for his weightiness.

George was realizing things now. He valued having “no mind”.As Emilia would say, not being bound to a thought, not being bound to the details of intention and action being split into rules for a freedom of action instead. Even if it meant he would out doing cruel things, up till now what was a “sickness” to him was being caught up in a restraint by anyone to do anything because it meant immobility which he hated.

Wilma didn’t think much of this presentation as well. A whole talk about how realistic it can be that dragons are alive?. Why?. Why here out of all places?. There was something off here. Stuart’s pupils were bizarrely dilating and his lips bitten down as if he was going to eat something. She felt she or someone else had to speak up soon to that

Like the immobility he felt after his first wife died. Where was the freedom of response there when he was calcified in the anguish of no longer having the one person who understood this of him around but only having a part of her remain in their “natural result”?. He could act but rely on nothing, he felt in those early days mourning into mornings.

He sure had the free and easy wandering he liked so much back then.. And even now. He was living in such a way that death was going to find him more often, oh so alive that it was going to doubt whether it should take him. The bogies tailing him were smart enough not to second think it though.

*******

    It was kind of funny and kind of sad, how those who scorn the speed within machines like jets go along slowly to nowhere very active like a war zone. But those who put aside the concerns and reasons for travelling to be bearing the charge of velocity could go anywhere and that was trouble. The dreams which might make him die were to George, some of the best he ever had.

For the first time in his life he felt he wasn’t sure whether he could was safety hazard to himself given his attitude. He was tearing up ashamed about how once he thought he was going to avoid picking and choosing what to do with this life, when he thought that giving up his daughter for adoption wouldn’t be a difficult thing. Something about having his wife's finality be via his daughter's birth had deeply offended him. He was having a strange restlessness about how here he was no longer finding liberation at these speeds but suffering from what he previously thought was a beautiful danger. Emelia took Ruth to outings to her mother's grave every week and that just bore more into George's mind.

George hadn’t been attendant to his surroundings, in the liminality he found looking at his tattoo. The three creatures, swooped in a curve from behind, smashing the underbelly of the Howler in body tackles which sent it spinning and having its hardware tearing away in oil like mechanical viscera  among the soft tinted clouds. It sent him into a tail spin but he still looked at the turned up sleeve and the poem part underneath it.

Odd how it was something like a morbid intimacy that had to happen before he could think of such things. Just like one of his side-jobs. He instructed his brand of vicious submission grappling to UN peacekeepers at a base not too far from the airbase. He was sometimes on the receiving end of some suplexes but he’d become known for a habitual closing tactic of grapping tightly on his opponents shoulders before loudly dropping his knees hard and cracking or sometimes breaking the clavicle of some so called trooper who’d painfully howl.

He was now regretting it though. All the rattling done to his head, all the chokeholds he could sustain with the muscularity endowed in his neck just to make yet another few bucks self-indulgently when he could instead be learning to be more gentle and better with teaching plane maneuvering to first year recruits. He could’ve at least improved on letting his opponents follow through with their movements and using their own force against them to haul them onto the matts. To him though, being retaliatory with explosive force was too much fun to pass up.

George’s mind glimpsed at something. He had to stop thinking of himself as the commanding center of a war machine and its limitedness, now with a reduced wingspan not worth having its performance plotted out in scientific data. The key was to livingly know; his true perception. Not the rush of being in the Howler in its momentum which made gaps of the sky meaningless places which were relative and infinitesimal. But it was something which was everywhere if he really thought about it but which he hadn’t given enough time as it deserved. Space and time are two sides of the same coin and there was another part to this individual. Family.  

*******

He was going to throw his thoughts overboard alright. He briskly pressed an ejection seat right before the underbellies of the bogies fully cracked the cockpits with the violent restlessness he’d been ignored until now.

The Howler’s driving agent dozily wavered in a parachute as he now saw the Howler, in an extinguishing spin-dive downwards spiraled around the Howler in an unflawed formation and made guttural barks and screeches all the while. Gone was the control which only a person could give to make  the machine perform lethally. The forces of nature were now artlessly deconstructing it as he ignored his former vessel thinking to think about whether the dragons would come to eat him. Air resistance was not too meaningful to him at the time.

The isolation he had put himself in taking this job..

He now recognized what he really was to his daughter and her stepmother. These creatures had a predation which was considered a natural element of life. It was organic unlike the contrivance of war, which was forced upon baggage of entitled aggression, George made his career on. It took having to go through this threshold to demonstrate that to him.

Wilma’s hair, not in a bun since the talk began bounced as she stood up to speak.

“Look Stuart! Just what the frig does any of this have to do with the Howler program?”

Fanon’s eyes darted and he rotated his chair a bit. Wilma could command attention like any other and not just because she could lead technician teams, without being pushy and  still having no taste for leadership. She reminded Fanon of George somewhat albeit with long curly  hair, a longer face and darker skin. Hilton pushed her chair back and Prof. Russell was in as much shock as Micius and Axle.

Jaws still open for George

“Is this meeting dissolved?” asked Fanon contriving a merely bothered tone. Him missing mission control for George was a pretext and meant more to him than the offbeat stuff they’ve been listening to.

Streamlined bodies of the bogies, wind not interfering. Radar at base going haywire

Stuart stood and fired a round into Dr.Axle’s arm

George wants to sweat but can’t. The mind of the man who had arrived at this did not stop for one thing even a bit. It stopped a lot for a lot of things. He tilted his head as far up vertically as he could.

“Fanon!”,Wilma yelled in shock.  She was about to check on his arm when Fanon’s open hand signified he could handle it.

There was nothing as pliant and as soft under the heavens as the water droplets colliding warmly on him. In the new found heaven in coalescing in his heart he felt that was nothing as successful as the striking impression of the women he had loved on his rigid and hard shell embalmed heart.

NOW IT IS!. Were ALL in his mission together.Understood?"

He felt formless but he’d more than welcome being sculpted by whatever life would bring to him in Emilia and Ruth. Mindless or mindful he was longer impeded when it came to embracing others. That action had yet to be demonstrated and he was keen to do it.

The commander was quiet brusque about this . Hilton just gazed at Wilma and Fanon.Fanon wondered if the red shirt he wore underneath his work clothes was going to make what happened less believable to others.

”Daddy!,daddy!. I found a big egg in a nest at school!. It’s in my pack back. Do you think it’s better than that ‘nest egg’ you sometimes say you’re making?”. Ruth left a message at home

Wilma and Fanon strolled out to the hard look of most of two of the three people in front of them, trying not to look over their shoulders as they left the room. Fanon wondered if the red shirt he wore underneath his work clothes was going to make what happened, believable to others. Both him and George wanted to act without the fabrication of terrible things.

*******

     George placidly swung in a parachute landing on a cliff plateau amid the jagged rocks sticking out of the reddish ground, was loamy fragrance as he walked in the heavy rain present. He was wondering about mending relationship with step-wife of sorts. Then he spontaneously combusted when he smiled. But he went on even if he was a man on fire .It didn’t hurt at 9:06 a.m. that day.

After all, what is conflict but incompatibility?. It could be unlimited if he wanted it to be but he was going to set out to do the reverse. His real first duty,was to love Emilia and Ruth and then some. That was what was calling him. Fragments which could make a family and a job offer with helicopters instead.
Dragging on jet
This is an anti-war story which I have been working on for a while,with the silliness of war being represented by the dude randomly bursting into flames. I'd like to thank LindseyWArt's for her take on Latios as that is what came into my mind for when it came to the dragons. I find it odd for how when it comes to submission categories,sic-fi isn't on there. I've yet to be better at understanding the differences between the arrangement of paragraphs while editing and the final output,better shown while previewing. 
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The man set down to thinking .Thinking abou the tingling sensation in the right front most part of his mind.Some ppl might find the sensation pleasant but perphaps in part due to the wiring of his mind being different it agitated him .Cognitive processes of questioning what he had just done and let be persmissive going thru his mind.In spite of what his mother told him.In spite of the damage he saw how the substance that produced that scent had an impact on the lives of his siblings.Yet there he was caught up in work and letting it happen.He would've let it happen in continuance but he thought that he better leave and work someone else than suffer a stupid form of damage through that way.

The aftermath of someone's indulgences on some drug that he's always bewared but couldn't discern the skunk like stench of for lack of distinction between that and strong unadulterated tobacco used ceremonial once and thus with permissiveness with purpose at a school event.It was only after the ceremony that two dim-witted boys who he had yet to lose confidence in their credibility were flippant enough to assert that it was merely like a conventional "mind clouder".

In anger,he thought to himself how he can very much do things and evoke things in his own mind without the intervention of stimulants.He thought about how that very quality oft made him an object of ridicule when he was little.A velvety yet mysteriously menacing voice spoke and demonstrated sentiments while his brain healed.Thankfully it was fast he tohught to himself .How he'd be able to fight without reciving headblows he didn't know.He was deathly afraid of losing precious brain matter so often inadvertently cast aside among the more conventionally able in his society.He'd have to bide for time till he could express himself in ways recreational and articulate either of which might gain him the title of gadfly by many .How therapeutic an exercise is writing he thought .

Though he had to go to the washroom and thought about how what he was thinking may be mere subjective exagerration with a pop in now moving to the back center right of his brain
Tingling
I found it and had wrote it last April 16th
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Me gusta este articulo idratherbewriting.com/2015/08/…

Always assume that everybody values honesty--that's goes without saying ;p 

'_' It's interesting to think on what I will not become ater having watched things produced by a person who I thought I was like. I don't mean ppl who have bad qualities like me but amplified several-fold but I mean ppl who are into pop culture stuff like me, but b/c I've watched and reflected on their stuff so much, I've (to my surprise) kind of "burned out" on my interest in the stuff. Not just from watching stuff like that ,but via my own analyzing as well. And i'm someone who used to think I'd go a similar route for when it came to expressing my opinions on pop culture. To use an example there's how I barely watch channel awesome anymore and lately I've been reading less Cracked articles.

Once I heard someone say something like how, imagine each day as an expanse where you have to spend (number of seconds or minutes in a day?) dollars,how would you spend it?. I think having taken that to heart is one reason I'm so determined to make sure that what I do is meaningful and doesn't have any mistakes and also why I'm afraid to make mistakes. I can ease up on that I suppose but `-` how?.

Me pregunto, como seria siendo el novio de una matematica `u` ?



I admit that there is a voice which still says "Hahah!. What a nerd!.", when seeing someone in a certain occupation. =_= Screw how stupid immature voices like that still fester in me.

Todos esos escenarios dramatico sobre escape--la escena en la puente el la pelicula "El amanecer del planeta de los simios/El planeta de los simios: confrontación"--viene a mi mente cuando pensando de el segundo semester de grado 11.

Interesting to see light-hearted mystery novels and "fluff" like covers on them.

An adult 'searching' for just the certain kind of non-tenseness btw authentic,seemingly pristine,mindful,innocuous bliss kind of happiness and distressing tenseness and concern--the kind of things which an episode of a programmer for toddlers can be made of.

I have a feeling that (at whatever point it's reached) when the current 'Planet of the apes' franchise reaches
the point where the apes have more structured societies and are more evolved, there might be a 'call-out' for
the Rick Baker style of prosthetic make-up used in the Tim Burton movie..or maybe high-quality mo-cap might
still do it

I just found out how the animator of "Heidi,girl of the alps" (an anime my mom used to like to watch) also worked a lot on the character design in the early Mario games;who I'm referring to is Yōichi Kotabe. 
_____________
It's my privilege to pretend not to be have a self in which I can confidently trust the abilities present and which can developed via engagement. It's already there and when I would be up to waking up to that, I will. It's up to me, it's my privilege to think it's not there, a *possible* route of agent optimization for my life, that's what makes me feel I s---k,that I'm a s---y person. When I'd like to 'awake' from that consistent dormancy I will. I'm still the s---kiness pretending not to be non-s---kiness.  

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