=_= Let things fallow and don't procrastinate with poetry.
D--- dreamweaver homework.
I might get out this with only one credit.
Incoming thought-the thought of your struggle to get attention by being enjoyable to be around in spite of having little idea of how to conversate and being overshadowed by a third companion on the way home,one who taunts you and minimizes the attention put on you,being called "funny/[-ier]" by the person who find you annoying.
I still see the picture "What's up doll" by sakimichan on my faves. Even though I like the anthromorphizations (didn't think someone would put that much effort into anthro-izing Bugs) the sexist tone of "doll" get's to me. I don't know it keeps popping up there even though I unfaved it afaik.
Acted on my anger today again,listening to "Tu eres para mi" (Your not for me) by Fanny Lu a "jaunty" passive-aggressive song-ish way of telling an ex- to back off. I regret doing that >_< b/c I do that thinking about a someone who I liked in high school who now attends here*,who I have highly mixed feeling about including a lot of hatred. The thing is her ethnicity is of two cultures (let's say Y and Z) which I've always liked and haven't really had as many reservations about as say my sister's acquaintence (let's say A) (there's a journal entry on that; I mention Jin Yuelin). I fear that by hating her, one fallout will be that my hatred of her will smear out to a projected negativity onto ppl of Z ethnicity of whom there are many at Mohawk college. I don't want to do with Z ethnicity or any other ethnicity for that matter. She might a person with a (in short) who've I found somewhat unpleasant with a if-so-much-as tangential association with ethnicity Z but that doesn't mean I would ever want to project that negativity I had towards her, which was one based on rather unfavorable interpersonal interactions onto women in ethnicity Z or worse women in general.
*--though for all I know she might've been fortunate enough to find work and have left off after this year and this turbulence is for naught
I found out how the bearded elderly man taking a photo of selfie on some internet pictures is Andreas Cahling.
Could you imagine if ppl who were into espousing "postmodernism" and relativism were in charge of issues related to labor,sex crimes,militarism,human rights and property?. The importance of delimiting action and intention are really important here.
=_= I friggin hate myself for not having become the ideal super-student scholar I so wanted to be more or less from the time I was a toddler and I know I've come across teachers who were definitely not resonating with that idea who ruined my chances at nearing that.
>_< Oh how often have I been left to rot!?!.
When we're at our lowest point is when are most capable of change...=_= but ytf is it that said change isn't usually the conventional achievement I so often crave?. Look I know my solitude of operation has a lot to do with it but d--- it I don't really like socialization with the primary intention of trying to do school work. It feels to d--- "means to an end"-ish which I have always resisted as I feel I "take,take and take" from ppl ("ask,ask and ask") but hardly am ever capable of reciprocating >_< =_= Dx !.
Puchica el olor de marijuana o lago por qui >_< !.
Here I get farcical
For all those ppl who've ever used this word against me, I will try to define it!:
A beginners take/definition of annoying--
Annoying: *negative* feedback stimulus ,negative in the sense of unfavorable or negating to final causes which are prioritized by the conceptual volition of a deciding observer.
"The way of the CHS tracher"
-have "our gang" attitude with an underlying tone that anyone not complacent to this is weak
-have no friggin regard for very real issues of intersectionality like say how this sort of attitude reverbates to female students, students who do not know English and students with communication issues such as mental impairments. note the latter two have valid reasons for why comprehension of such attitudes is not resonating while the first can give a valid feedback which is relevant and significant
-have student with issues comply to feeling "weird" as complying to the internal categorization structures of the teachers
-say trite a-- comment like "hard semester" and be complacent to the unjustified hassle and harrasement other "think we're all that" members of a school's student body distributes to said student who feels outed.
I could imagine somewhere someone saying " '_' Wow..don't you ever think positively,buddy?.Don't you want to be more alive?" which would've had an effect on me a decade ago but now would make me think "=_= Yes. Yes, I do try to think positively" which would remind me in an analogous sort of way of the line of the description of events I gave
(i)-ppl are (maybe more or less known to them) are part of a group
(ii)-there is not a regard for differences in development and/or condition,which are significant
(iii)-a trite a-- feedback which is an observation of what is unambigious in a way and does not help before I'm "re-released" back into the Brownian motion like filled "sea of chaos" of life which s----ks for me.